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"I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything."

bombing:

i’m so bad with texting back or handling messages in general. one time my friend texted me and i was going to respond but instead i made a clutch investment in a small towel company and am now the CEO of the most successful towel company in the world and you will not fuck with me here do you understand me? i will run your shitty towel kickstarter into the goddamn dirt. this is my territory

"MACBETH: do you think I would make a good king
LADY MACBETH skateboards across the hall
LADY MACBETH: king of jerking off maybe"
snatchedweaves:

room with a view

snatchedweaves:

room with a view

2wentyonepilots:

my new favourite tweet

2wentyonepilots:

my new favourite tweet

12:09am, 17/9/14
TURKY SOUP NORAH WINK WINK GOBBLE GOBBLE ;>>>
ASKED BY bloodycranberry

greenjellies:

if u ever need something to smile at here’s my dog in his raincoat

2headedsnake:

Chad Wys

8:18pm, 16/9/14 with 146,235 notes
strangelfreak:

"I’m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in."

strangelfreak:

"I’m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in."

floozys:

parental figure: “sit like a lady”

me:

image

glampersand:

cedricdigory:

whenever i need a laugh i remember that if he hadn’t died james potter would have been dudley’s uncle. Picture James interacting with dudley. just do it, picture the scene

my life just got better

deerekhale:

*sirius black voice* remus will you kill this spider for me

*remus lupin voice* is it trying to hurt you, sirius

*sirius black voice* its on my bed and hurting my heart 

*quiet james potter voice* engorgio

*loud, horrified sirius black shrieking*